The outfit and location of this post symbolize a lot for me. The first time I ever remember modeling for a photographer, someone whom I am no longer in contact with, was at this location. I was an awkward 18 year-old that didn’t know her angles or how to pose and I wearing a full ballerina outfit, complete with tutu and all. Now I have shed the tutu for an even more gorgeous ballet-esque Zimmermann midi skirt, gained some years of experience and with that the confidence to feel more comfortable in front of a camera and to make the hard decisions that have allowed me ultimately to grow as a person.
Pointe shoes, silk ribbon, full skirts, soft silk tulle, pastel colours and dresses with lots of movement have always been the threads that have held my fashion dreams together. If in another life I was a ballerina, I unfortunately did not inherit that elegance and grace of movement in this one. However that has never stopped me from being captivated and inspired by romantic and feminine elegance of these graceful creatures.
I can never be exactly sure why I have always gravitated towards the aesthetic of ballet, however I think that it was a dream that was born out of a childhood which was very non-conventional. It was a fantasy that transported my imagination to a world where everything was effortlessly beautiful and this made me forget, even if for a brief moment in time, about how unhappy I was. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be born into a conventional family where they feel safe and loved. However, know that you and you alone always have the power to choose whom you keep around you and the freedom to be treated the way you deserve. This for me is all a distant memory of my past now, as I have long since said gained the strength and courage to say goodbye to the people who have unapologetically caused me so much pain. I will however forever be thankful for the amount of joy movies and books like the “Swan Princess”, “Barbie of Swan Lake”, “The Nutcracker” and “Ballet Shoes” gave me. The magical fantasy of the ballet made life so much better.
The allure of romantic and feminine clothes will probably always speak to me, in very much a similar way to how a flower fascinates a honeybee. This Zimmermann skirt was actually first a dress, and its web of lace; its beautiful full skirt; its batik print and soft pink colours enchanted me. It was a dress for a fashion ballerina. I bought into the dream hook, line and sinker, without first considering how I was going to pull it off, as it was obvious that it was made for someone with model dimensions in mind. The dress sat too low and due to the many lace panels it could not be altered. I still bought it anyway because God how I loved the pink batik print, the full midi skirt and the lace! Oh the lace!
Of course, as with any purchase that doesn’t suit me (do I ever learn?) it remained unworn. After staring at the dress wistfully in my closet for many months, I decided to take it to a tailor so that it could be transformed into a wearable skirt. The slip and the top half of the dress were sold on eBay for a sad pittance and I always wonder what has become of their fate. I like to think they went to a good home and that another fashion ballerina rocks it.
Final note: I don’t usually allude to my past so publicly, and even as I type this piece I am toying with the idea of removing parts of it. It is not easy talking about these experiences, but staying silent means that the bullies get away with their actions. It is a step I need to take to continue on the path of being my authentic self. I hope this inspires you to take a stance too.
What Adrianna is wearing
In today’s post Adrianna is wearing a Zimmermann dress that was altered into a skirt, a Zara bodysuit and Bruno Frisoni pumps.