I have never been a huge fan of the “50 Shades” series and every run in I’ve had with the franchise has solidly confirmed my stance. You will see why as this post unfolds.
When the books were at the pinnacle of their popularity a few years back, I was that one girl who hadn’t read them. This was a huge deal at the time, it seemed as though everyone I knew was obsessed with Anna and Christian’s “love” story. From the mums at my local sporting club who would have their eyes glue to the pages of their dirty book rather than their kid competing, to the Chinese lady who worked at the bakery. The most surprising of all though was a middle-aged Catholic woman who lived nearby! With my own eyes I saw her slyly stash a copy along with some Mills & Boon books into her bag at the library, and she then hastily proceeded to the counter where she borrowed them. I was in total shock! This was a lady I had known most of my life, someone I believed to be above such activities, and I had just witnessed her hoard a bunch of softcore porn novels into her bag. It was the moment the penny dropped for me. Devoutly religious people read porn and BDSM novels too! Gasp!
So eventually the day came where I caved in and all three books of this trashy Twilight copycat series entered the hallowed halls of my home. My logic was, if a regular Sunday churchgoer can stomach it, why can’t I? I spent about $1 on each of them as by sheer chance I found the complete set at a local thrift store. Some may call it destiny, but I just call it some other BS.
The bad reviews could not prepare me for how terrible this series is! Just when you think it can’t get any lower, a character mumbles or rasps during some cheesy sex scene (which happens to be about as sexy as walking in on your parents going lickety split). If I had to compare I would say that these books are the literary equivalent of an Uwe Boll movie but much, much worse! OMG, now I am imagining Uwe Boll directing a 50 Shades adaptation and the thought of this combination is truly, truly horrifying. Side note - if you like funny rants on YouTube, Uwe Boll is the master and I may have become a little distracted watching a few whilst trying to write this article.
Anyway getting back on track. You would think after reading parts of the books I’d be done with the series, yet somehow there is much, much more to say. It was at midnight nearly 2 years to the date that I found myself at the “Sun Theater” Yarraville with Mr. Mochi for the movie premiere on Valentine’s Day. As expected, the film experience did not disappoint and was jam packed with enough material to make for a pretty funny comedy sketch!
What I found was that the 50 Shades crowd were a rather loud and boisterous bunch. At one stage I thought I must have missed a pivotal point in the plotline while I was greasing off a guy in the row behind me for spilling popcorn and laughing, but later found out that no, the movie really did finish that abruptly. But where was the audience when I needed them to distract me from the worst parts? Anna innocently asking, “what’s a butt plug?”, was by far the most cringe worthy thing I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing on the screen and by the sound of it, my 50 Shades compatriots in the audience agreed too.
None of this however could prepare me for the grand exit at the commencement of the film. Rowdy and drunken staff, beer still in hand, ushered us out quickly of the venue, obviously eager to continue their joviality without us around. Oh and to make matters worse, they then started swearing about clean up duties while one hypocritically slushed his beer all over the carpet. It was all very indecorous but I don’t blame then for needing a drink after that premiere!
So you’re probably wondering how on earth my pictures have anything to do with 50 Shades! Well, that can be explained with my most recent encounter with the franchise. As you may be aware, the sequel film “50 Shades Darker” has just been released and Universal were looking for social influencers to create content inspired by the film for Instagram. What drew me in was their brief, which included an elegant look and dramatic eye make-up inspired by Anna’s mask. Despite not being a fan of the storyline, I really do love most of the styling (when they are fully clothed!) featured on the film, and doing a creative and dramatic make-up look is not something I shy from either. So with the brief in mind, I created this look, which Mr. Mochi captured.
As it turned out though, the day we photographed this outfit was the day Universal decided to delete their campaign! It gave a new meaning to the expression “50 Shades of F’d Up Grey”.
50 shades of F’d Up is when you go to the effort of creating material for the launch of the “50 Shades Darker” film, only to find out that precisely after you have spent many hours doing hair, makeup, shooting the outfit, editing (you name it!), that Universal have deleted their campaign meaning you can no longer submit your images.
Of course I didn’t want my hard work to go to waste, so I decided to post the photos on my website and also use the opportunity to share my funny escapees. The makeup look was created using a few Chanel products I had on hand and I was pleased with how it worked out.
Also credit where credit is due. I absolutely loved the soundtrack used in the movies. Beyoncé’s slowed down rendition of “Crazy in Love” is mesmerizing. Oh and no one can deny that Dakota Johnson kills it with her fashion both inside and out of the film.
I would love to hear about your 50 shades experiences! If you have any great stories or funny things to share, please leave a comment below.
Adrianna is wearing
Adrianna is wearing the Asilio “Deviant Duchess” dress (how appropriate!) with the Chanel Dubai light up sandals. The makeup look was achieved using Chanel beauty products (Les 4 Ombres No.246 Tissé Smoky, Illusion D’Ombre Velvet No.85 Mirifique & No.102 Mysterio, La Ligne de Chanel Eyeline Duo).